I’ve got an ear problem. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac anyway, but I seem to be a walking medical specimen at the moment. My hearing’s a bit muffled, like when your ears need to pop whilst flying. Anyway, I remembered that this happened a couple of years back and… if… I… can… just… reach… into the back of the cupboard, in the old Clark’s shoe box, there’s some medication I used then that sorted it out. A quick check of the use-by date – nothing written on the bottle itself, and 08/2006 printed on the box, so it must be okay. (Plus it’s always nice to see a cartoon drawing of Fab Paul McCartney on a medication packet.) I put the required ten drops in my ear, made my head horizontal for ten minutes then rinsed it out using a nice rubber teardrop-shaped thing. Now my ear hurts even more, and the tinitus is going crazy like a Pan Sonic concert in my ear canal. That’ll teach me to self-medicate.
I’m doubly buggered, cos I can’t go and see a doctor tomorrow as it is a national holiday here. It’s Ascension Day, the day that Jesus went to Heaven. In Germany the day is called Christi Himmelfahrt, which is a long way of saying ascension (a literal translation – and bear in mind my German is rubbish – is Christ’s Journey To Heaven). Being slightly childish, and being English, I titter to myself every time I hear the words Christi Himmelfahrt. In my mind, there’s Jesus in a Trabant flying through the sky like Sandy and Danny at the end of Grease.
And not only is it Christi Himmelfahrt, it’s Election Day in the UK. For quite boring reasons, I didn’t get the chance to do a postal vote, but I’ve been paying attention; reading stuff, listening to the BBC, etc. I can’t bring myself to want that lying fucker Blair in again; Michael Howard… well, even if he does support the same team as me (and there’s always something un-natural about politicians talking about football), he’s still got the whiff of Satan about him; and cuddly Charles Kennedy’s never gonna win, is he? He’d get my vote if I had one, though, cos I seem to agree with more of the Lib Dem’s policies than those of the other parties. Blah blah blah… is this boring? I sometimes wonder…
I especially wonder about that today (notice how I’m weaving several threads of thought together to make a nice jumper, huh?) because I did a “talk” at a local university. A professor from the Universität der Kunste Berlin lives in the flat beneath mine, and she asked me a couple of weeks ago if I’d go and talk about Minipops etc. to her students. I’ve only done this sort of thing once before, and it went quite well then, but today – partly because of poor planning, partly because my mind was still re-living Luis Garcia’s glorious goal last night – I was rubbish. I must apologise to any of the students that were there. All I seemed to do was mumble like an old man and click things on FFF so they appeared projected on a screen. I did quite enjoy seeing Pete and Bob really big, though. So, yes, sorry German design students. Of course, should YOUR university want me to come and talk, I’d be more than happy to do it cos I love being flattered and made to feel important.
That, you’ll be glad to know, is almost all.
Commiserations to PSV fans.
It’s my bed-time. Good night.