Flip Flop Flying

Immigration and neon

with 7 comments

Last night’s dream:
I was in an airport, just waiting there for the ‘plane to be ready to start boarding and stuff. Tom Cruise came up to me and asked to see my passport. He said he thought I looked like “him”, and pointed to a picture on the wall of a criminal in a blurry surveillance-camera photo. I protested, Tom told me I had to stay there until the FBI had interviewed me. I made repeated attempts to make my flight but to no avail; every time I went to the desk they told me to wait for the FBI.

Fast forward, I’m “back” in the USA, talking to a guy who, it seems, was a former employer. I told him I would do half-price work for him (as some sort of scientist) in exchange for cash in hand.

I was living at a lodging house. My real-life ex-flatmate was the landlord and a real-life family I know were living in the attic. An guy I knew at college was my room mate. He was a DJ, (still is, it seems), and was playing me some records when, for want of a better word, snot came out of my nose. It wouldn’t stop. It came out as a solid tube, kind of like a very long icicle. It kept coming and coming and eventually, I laid it out flat along the skirting board and it went around two sides of the room. My scientist boss came by and got excited when he saw it. He got out a machine – like a geiger counter or something – and took some readings. Then held a microphone to the snot and we heard that it made a humming noise. Then he told me that it had low “ayan” content and high “bayan” content, and look, if he switched on this UV light you could see that it had neon in it.

Next thing, I’m sat on a balcony with my feet resting on a wheelie bin. My feet keep leaving black marks on the bin like a bicycle tyre does on a white-washed wall. My feet were hot. Just before I woke up, I realised my feet were melting.

Some of that makes sense. Last night I read an email from a friend about her boyfriend who’d been held by the immigration people in the UK and subsequently deported (a very sad story that makes me deeply ashamed of my country). “Bayan” is a word I saw a lot in Istanbul over the doors to ladies toilets. Tom Cruise? Well, you can’t move on the internet these days without seeing pics of him and her out of Dawson’s Creek, can you? And, okay, it’s possible I might’ve picked my nose in bed last night, but as for the rest: no idea at all.

Written by Craig

June 8th, 2005 at 11:19 am

Posted in Uncategorized

7 Responses to 'Immigration and neon'

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  1. There have got to be some weird subliminal messages in there!


    8 Jun 05 at 12:31

  2. I’d stay off the late night cheese and port if I were you!


    8 Jun 05 at 16:27

  3. hmm.. ill tidings. going somewhere soon? I have a trip to America next month… really not looking forward to the ole customs… leaving my ninja stars at home. Although the U.S department for air safety (or whatever 1984-esque dept) claims on their webpage that samurai swords and other assorted bladed weapons, including cutlasses, can be packed in your luggage… just not in your personal stuff!


    8 Jun 05 at 23:58

  4. I couldn’t sleep a few nights ago and when I did finally fall asleep, I dreamt about not being able to sleep.


    10 Jun 05 at 05:49

  5. Now we have even MORE proof that Tom Cruise is a jerk. Subliminal proof, perhaps, but proof nonetheless. Excellent.


    10 Jun 05 at 23:10

  6. + the best film he was in – Magnolia – he’s playing someone who’s, as you say, a jerk.


    11 Jun 05 at 13:15

  7. Wow – what a coincidence – it was just the other day I was writing about a weird dream I had…

    Me and Steve Irwin were making cakes for sharks. Pink cakes. But he was a moody git, and told me I’d done it all wrong.

    Not quite as tenuous as your dream, maybe, nor as interesting, but still, I’m sure it has deep hidden meaning.

    I have weird dreams quite a lot… maybe I should cut down on the cheese before bed, thats what my mother always told me to do.


    11 Jun 05 at 17:37

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