Yesterday evening, we went to the in-laws’ house to water the plants in the garden. They live in Bernau, a small town on the north-east outskirts of Berlin. There’s fields and stuff all around, even a nice little wood that Billy enjoys a lot.
Stood there on the lawn, fag in one hand, hosepipe in the other, I felt like a proper man. And it was so relaxing. Playing with the settings of their techno-hose (jet! mist! cone! fan!), and watching Billy try to catch the water. Pointing the hose upwards so it fell like rain on the roses; the beautiful, fragrant, intoxicating roses. Accidentally breaking a spider’s web, returning an hour later to check on him/her and finding that the web was completely rebuilt, and then seeing an insect fly into the web and get quickly wrapped in silk. Butterflies fluttering by.
And I thought of a buuuuurrrrr-illiant invention. One of the neighbours had a lawn sprinkler. And while it was making its ptsss-ptsss-ptsss sound, I thought it could be good to have the sprinkler linked via a computer to your hi-fi. And something could regulate the ptsss-ptsss-ptsss so that it was in sync with the music. Perfect for 50 Cent’s garden, don’t you agree?
Annyway, being there made me realise how much I’d like a garden of my own. A lawn to mow, seeds to sow, tomatoes to grow, using a hoe, dandelion clocks to blow, watching a crow, seeing a neighbour and saying hello, leaving footprints in the virgin winter snow, sitting on the patio, drinking a nice Bordeaux, listening to Status Quo, having a wasp, err, sting my toe…