I went to bed last night wondering if 300,000 would make an appearance.
Half of it did. Out of nowhere 300 came out, but I stopped it in time.
The thing that went through my mind, though, was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I began to think about that and imagine it in great detail. This poor camel with a mountain of straw strapped to it’s back. Slowly walking across the desert, then SNAP! his back goes. He falls down.
I spent the rest of my pre-sleep time thinking of other idioms that invite odd images in the brain. Here’s a few of them:
2. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth
How did the spoon get there? Did the mother push it up there and the baby instinctively started sucking it? Did it hurt mummy as she gave birth?
3. The cat’s pyjamas
I liked imagining this one. It’s always amusing seeing Billy wearing a t-shirt, and watching him trip over it a bit. A cat, of course is a different matter. He’d be in pyjamas like Hugh Hefner, with a dressing gown over the top.
4. Up shit creek
Doesn’t bear thinking about too much.
5. Take the piss
6. Blow your own trumpet
Why would you want to blow someone else’s? All their spit all over it. Eeuuwww!
7. Pushing up daisies
Maybe it’d work if you used cocktail sticks as splints, but otherwise, I can’t see how you can push daisies up through the ground.
8. Birthday suit
Not naked like it means, but more like one of the fancy Nudie suits that Gram Parsons wore. I imagined a suit which you could have embroidery on describing your life so far on the back of the trousers and jacket and your dreams for the future on the front.
9. Bob’s your uncle
He is. And he lives in Germany, but I’ve not seen him for ages. He used to live in Blackpool, so during my childhood he was definitely one of my favourite relatives cos visiting him meant going to the beach, see the Illuminations, and spending lots of ten pences in the arcade.
10. Cold Turkey
“Brrrrrrr, it’s a bit chilly… at least it’s Christmas soon,” says the cold turkey.