Flip Flop Flying

More singing

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Another singing person in my neighbourhood. Another man on a bicycle. Big bloke. Rode the bike with his knees really wide apart like he had a couple of grapefruits rammed down his pants. Anyway, he was singing a song I really really really hate.
I downloaded the song just to make sure, and it drove me mad. Like the mad you feel when you, whatever you do, can’t thread a needle.
That song: Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin.
Here’s why.

Here is a little song I wrote
Thanks for letting us know that. Looking forward to the royalties, I’m sure.

You might want to sing it note for note
Or maybe not.

Don’t worry, be happy
You say that, but you’ve no prior knowledge of my situation.

In every life we have some trouble
We do.

When you worry you make it double
Well, not necessarily. Imagine you’re falsely accused of being a kiddy fiddler and your neighbours have formed an angry vigilante mob and have set fire to your car and are throwing bricks at your windows; I’m not sure that your troubles would be DOUBLED if you worried about that.

Don’t worry, be happy
Not possible if the above were true, really, Bobby.

Ain’t got no place to lay your head
That’s right, Bobby.

Somebody came and took your bed
Yes, thieves. In my home. They took everything. Bed included.

Don’t worry, be happy
Well…

The land lord say your rent is late
It is. I lost my job and have no money…

He may have to litigate
No money, no bed, seemingly soon I’ll be homeless and sued to boot!

Don’t worry, be happy
You’re just trying to piss me off now, aren’t you?

Look at me I am happy
Happy with a blackeye if you don’t shut your fucking trap, dude.

Don’t worry, be happy
I’m warning you!

Here I give you my phone number
When you worry, call me
I make you happy

Oh will you? Exactly how?

Don’t worry, be happy
It’s all so simple for you, isn’t it?

Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style
Hey, c’mon, now your getting personal. I’m homeless, Bobby; style’s the last thing on my mind.

Ain’t got no girl to make you smile
See above.

But don’t worry be happy
You keep saying this, but there’s no reason to believe you.

Cause when you worry
Your face will frown

Fuck me, you’re Einstein now, aren’t you?

And that will bring everybody down
Fuck ‘em.

So don’t worry, be happy now…
Honestly, dude, you ever seen the Incredible Hulk?

Don’t worry, be happy…
Right…

Don’t worry don’t do it, be happy
*rolls up sleeves*

Put a smile on your face
Put a fist in your face, more like…

Don’t bring everybody down like this
*takes off belt*

Don’t worry, it will soon pass
*uses belt like a whip*

Whatever it is
*leaves singer cowering on the ground*

Don’t worry, be happy
That’s just what I was gonna say to you…

Pfffff, aaaaaaaaanyway, did I say that all out loud? Sorry about that, it just rubs me up the wrong way, that’s all.

Written by Craig

September 5th, 2005 at 9:49 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

17 Responses to 'More singing'

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  1. Ha!
    I enjoyed that a lot. Thank you

    Lance Crossfire

    Anonymous

    5 Sep 05 at 11:16 pm

  2. Tee hee! It’s quite funny when you analyse songs like that cos generally they don’t seem to make sense. Or yeh, they are just ANNOYING! What are your top five worst songs ever?

    Tori

    5 Sep 05 at 11:28 pm

  3. thanks now i have that pissing song in my head!!!! made me laugh though

    Katie

    Anonymous

    6 Sep 05 at 2:34 am

  4. That seemed immensely cathartic…I’ll have to try that next time I hear a song I hate.

    b

    6 Sep 05 at 3:48 am

  5. I hate Cher altogether. Not so much before the Sonny and Cher days, but very much after.

    It came to be when my next door neighbor kept playing it over and over during the morning hours. “Song for the Lonely” I think it was called.

    And this company recently put it in their commercial here in the States, so I am pretty much screaming and yelling my head off. And then I flip to the next channel.

    lisa

    6 Sep 05 at 5:16 am

  6. Whoops, I was answering Tori’s question.

    But you’re hilarious, Craig. I know how you feel when it comes to certain songs and what these singers sing. They should play this song over at Anger Management, hmmm.

    lisa

    6 Sep 05 at 5:27 am

  7. And people say “Craig’s a grumpy old man”, and I’m all like “What? No way!”

    No way.

    pauldwaite

    6 Sep 05 at 11:09 am

  8. *lol*!! Brilliant… absolutely brilliant. Copied it and forwarded it. I have a sad story about a song but now I forgot the name of it, so I’ll be back on the subject.

    Elisabeth

    Anonymous

    6 Sep 05 at 11:15 am

  9. Just remembered:
    It was Sylvester and “Born to be alive”. I had a neighbour my own age, at the time about 20, who constantly played the song Booooorn, boooorn, booorn, born to be alive. Night and day. Drove me nuts. One night when I got back from work the ambulance was outside the house. The guy had put his head in the gas oven and was very much dead.

    It wasn’t even good song to begin with!

    Elisabeth

    Anonymous

    6 Sep 05 at 11:22 am

  10. Lol, you’re really grumpy…This song makes me smile everytime i hear it – i especially love “when you worry your face will frown and it’ll bring everybody down”…(Now don’t untie your belt….)

    OK OK sometimes you can’t help worrying but don’t you think most of the time people just worry for nothing….So…Be happy

    lol (please don’t bann me)

    Lily

    6 Sep 05 at 11:24 am

  11. haha that cracked me up, thanks.

    cat, circus and oddity

    6 Sep 05 at 2:55 pm

  12. very good, G

    Dave

    6 Sep 05 at 3:16 pm

  13. Ban her. Ban her. Ban her. You know you want to.

    pauldwaite

    6 Sep 05 at 5:03 pm

  14. NO idea how I found you but this post gave me a huge chuckle. As I’m typing this I’m listening to Radiohead’s lyric “You do it to yourself, and that’s what really hurts”.

    Ah. How music soothes the savage beast lol.

    you’re cynical, but really funny.

    Belinda

    6 Sep 05 at 5:08 pm

  15. Aaah, it’s totally random what people like to read, huh?
    Thanks for the comments.

    Tori – Top five… oh, I dunno. Cher’s version of Shoop Shoop Song would be in there. Riverboat Song by Ocean Colour Scene. Jenny From The Block. The above mentioned song, of course, and… umm, Madonna’s version of American Pie was pretty poo.

    Lily – Fair enough. I’m glad you enjoy it.

    Craig

    6 Sep 05 at 6:12 pm

  16. Jenny From The Block.
    You’ve hit the nail on the head.

    Ian Mac

    8 Sep 05 at 2:00 pm

  17. Cher is an excellent argument for wishing that the penis had a brain. I’ll be honest: as a male, if I see some of the those old photos of Cher’s boobs or behind in extremely revealing outfits, the first thing that comes to mind is, well, sex. And then more sex. Then I stop and think for a moment, and realize that it is definitely not the big head that is doing the thinking.

    Fortunately, the antidote to this is stopping for a minute and saying to myself, do you realize what you are fantasizing about??? I mean, sex with Cher, an extremely untalented person, one of the cheesiest entertainers ever…and if that doesn’t halt my quickly advancing thoughts of doing the horizontal rumba with this loon, all I need to contemplate is some of the many men she’s actually slept with, and that inevitably does the trick.

    Only problem is, those thoughts may end up putting me off sex for a year. (I mean…Gene Simmons…yeeeeeeeeeeeesssshhhhhh!)

    In the end, however, it’s better than completing my fantasy, and hating myself in the morning, or for many mornings on end.

    Oh, by the way, I don’t like her, in case you haven’t guessed.

    Phantom Genius

    2 Jun 09 at 9:35 am

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