Flip Flop Flying

Twitchy curtains

with 9 comments

Last night, at around 1.30am, there was a bit of a commotion outside.

Like many of my neighbours across the street, I twitched my curtains. I was expecting a few drunken lads to just be making a bit of a racket after leaving the awful drunken lads-type bar just down the street (my God, I hate that place, totally dragging the neighbourhood down… he said, signing up for bringing back corporal punishment (joke)). But, no.

I was genuinely shocked by what I saw. From my second floor window I was looking down on a group of about forty – no shit – lads shouting, pushing, arguing, fighting in the middle of the road… well, this was as close to the LA Riots as my life has ever got! It was amazing.

Bathed in the orange street lights, it was a heaving mass of sportswear and fake tans. (An aside: Berlin ‘lads’ seem to have a style of dress quite different to the laddish types in the UK. It’s kinda hip hop seen through the eyes of a 1980s Pet Shop Boys video, but recreated in the sub-H&M; bargain fashion stores of east Germany.) For some reason this mass of boys totally reminded me of seeing a tub of fishermen’s maggots writhing around.

A few lads broke off from the group hear and there; drinking Beck’s, talking on mobile phones. A few were ushered away by screeching girlfriends. Screeching girlfriends were ushered away by screeching boyfriends, too.

And after about ten minutes of this (which seems like a really long time when there’s violence in the air), five police vans turned up. Just in time to see some lads sculk away. Some got stopped by police, some not. Some slinked off and hid silently in souped-up Volkswagens until they could drive off unnoticed. The majority just hung around until the police had shouted and questioned a few of them, and it all ended.

Come morning, the only sign of any action was a nice big pool of vomit right outside the front door to my house.

Written by Craig

November 5th, 2005 at 3:21 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

9 Responses to 'Twitchy curtains'

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  1. I’m really quite fascinated by that, very eloquently written too by the way, G.

    Have you got any pictures of German PSB/hip hop ‘lads’? For my actual job, I think that might be quite interesting..

    PS this is dave btw


    5 Nov 05 at 16:46

  2. … and upon leaving the house this morning to take Billy for the shooting of the forensics scene of mini-CSI-Berlin you managed to step into this pool-‘o-becks-‘n-bratwurst.

    Go on Craig, go on. I love this story! This is movie-material.

    frans theunisz

    5 Nov 05 at 17:25

  3. My god.

    I would have been scared shitless.

    To contrast your pool of vomit, I have a pile of beautifully colored leaves pooled up in front of my front door. I should rake them away, but I just enjoy the sound of them crunching under my feet too much. Plus, the kid in me still finds it necessary to kick them all around.


    5 Nov 05 at 18:32

  4. A few weeks ago there was a single girl (with a couple of other quieter girls nearer her) making an ALMIGHTY racket outside our flat, at about 1am on a Monday morning. Quite why she thought her crap was more important than all the kids, and pensioners, and working mums and das, and me, trying to get to sleep was a mystery. But she was moved in within about 15 minutes by a Community Support Officer (the cheaper alternative to police in England nowadays – they do a great job, bless ’em).

    You’re right, 10 minutes is an age when there’s hubbub on the streets outside your flat late at night.


    5 Nov 05 at 19:35

  5. Dave – I’m sorry if I made them sound stylish, I didn’t mean to. I’ll try and get some photos for you, though. Just bear in mind I am a pansy and don’t want to be beaten up, so I’ll take photos from a distance.

    Frans – It could be like West Side Story or something…

    Becki – Billy likes the leaves too, mainly Hoovering them up to get stuck in his ears, though.

    Paul – Let’s form an EU-wide society called Oi! Some People Are Trying To Sleep.


    6 Nov 05 at 10:28

  6. haven’t you had those ears trimmed yet?


    6 Nov 05 at 14:55

  7. My friends and I arrived at the conclusion that in instances liek this there is nothing else to be done but campaign for a ‘black vanned masked vigilante group’ that would arrive on the scene a la the A-Team and dart all the Chavs and Scallies with tranquilizers and remove them. The Chavs would then wake up with ‘youve been visited by the BVMVG cards in their pot riddled sweaty mitts.

    Extreme? …Yeh I know but, well, I can dream… ;)

    BTW Craig thanks for the comment about liking the site. Hope you liked the songs too..:)

    Lee Jenkins

    6 Nov 05 at 16:54

  8. Taking secret pictures shouldn’t be a problem – I remember a certain american tourist taking paparazzi-pics of the Knoxville guy. You have a gift for it! ;)


    6 Nov 05 at 21:07

  9. I didn’t mean your were american, but an english german in america… sort of…. well, you understand…



    7 Nov 05 at 16:14

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