Tomorrow I will be in my flat between the hours of 8.00am and 4.00pm. Sorry, Billy, no walks or urinating for you. Cos a man from Deutsche Telekom is due to come to install something-or-other that’ll allow me to have a new Internet service provider. He, who is being paid by me to do this, can’t be any more specific than that. Between 8.00pm and 4.00pm.
Right: this has GOT TO STOP!
We, the people, need to do something about this. I don’t know what, but we need to have a cup of tea and a think. It’s only really an inconvenience for me, cos I work at home all day, but for those of you who have to take a whole day off work – a day that you could be using for, oooh, an extra day in Bali or something – it’s gotta be a bitch.
Why can they not be more specific? There is no reason for this. Deutsche Telekom probably have printed sheets which they give to your employees with all their duties of the day printed on them. I don’t imagine they just randomly drive around Berlin in your truck until the boss phones and say, “Yeh, dude, can you go to Craig’s house at some point today… no, it’s not important, finish your lunch… if you can get there before 4pm that’d be great.”
And I also imagine they know how much work these chaps can do in a day. I don’t want to be totally inflexible, cos I realise that some jobs may take a bit longer, there might be bad traffic etc., but is it not possible for them to give us an estimate within, say, a two hour period? If it’s not, then their whole business operation is a shambles.
(An aside. I used to work for British Telecom doing directory enquiries as a summer job. We were told to only spend a specific amount of time dealing with each enquiry. When I asked if helping, say, a confused pensioner find the correct number wasn’t more important than getting that call over with within a specific amount of time, I was told that, no, your average call time is important if you wanna keep your job. My point here is that these companies do have issues with being productive annd punctual with their time. Any chance they could afford that privilege to their customers too?)
The truly mystifying thing is this: within hours of signing up for this new Internet service, I got an SMS text message on my mobile phone welcoming me and blah-de-blah-blah. If this can be done, isn’t it possible that Deutsche Telekom could do the same sort of thing with their installation dudes? A quick push of a button on an electronic something like DHL or UPS fellas have when you sign for a package, and it could send an update automatically to the customer. Something like, “Hey, we estimate we’ll be there around 12.30. Might be 20 minutes or so either side, but y’know, we’ll be there soon.”
Nah, that’s way too much like treating the people who keep their company going with some respect. Why treat customers with respect when they can treat them like shit?
I give up. I’m off to live in a hut and grow my own potatoes…
Oh, the advent photo above is some packets of candy floss at a Christmas market. If only they were packets of marshmallow. That’d be a yummy conical bag of pastel-coloured joy.