Have you ever watched how people behave in IKEA? Specifically at the post-Hell hot dog place. Thinking back, visits to IKEA in London were similar to those in Berlin. So I’m guessing it’s a worldwide thing: there’s just some things which you will always see.
1. One half of a couple stood looking bored next to an empty table, waiting for their partner to come back with two hot dogs and empty cups to put Fanta in. In fact, I’d guess at any one time over 50% of the available tables aren’t actually being used, just occupied by a person and their jumbo trolley.
2. When adding sauce and toppings to hot dogs people go a bit mental. Seeing as though it’s kind of free, people put on way too much ketchup and mustard and crispy onions and gherkins. And if there’s a couple of people ahead of them using the onions and the gherkins, people tend to look like alcoholics waiting for the pub to open: hands shaking, eyes darting around, I’m next! I’m next!
3. Upon returning to their table, folks always – always – look up when they are eating their hot dogs. Man brings hot dog up towards mouth. Man lowers and tilts head slightly, meeting the hot dog part-way. Man opens mouth wider than ever before. Hot dog enters mouth. Man’s eyes instinctively focus on something on the ceiling about ten metres away. Mouth closes. Chewing begins.
Anyway, in case you’re interested: towels, some new cutlery, a mat for the bathroom, and another one to go next to the front door.