I was woken up yesterday morning around 3.30am by some music coming from a parked car. Not really woken up, but, y’know, I was starting to drift off to sleep and it jerked me awake again. Nothing particularly unusual about that, but the actual song itself was unusual. Normally such inapproriately loud music is techno or hip hop stuff; but last night it was Don’t Stop Believing by Journey.
I like that song, and I’d not heard it for ages, so this morning I opened iTunes and typed ‘don’t’ in the browse field, and 113 songs came up. That’s a lot of songs telling me to not do something.
Songs that tell me what or what not to do rub me up the wrong way. I shouldn’t get irked by it, but I do.
Not only do they make awful music, but Embrace’s fate was sealed for me when they patronisingly sang, “All you good good people, listen to me”. There’s so many things wrong with that lyric, that I can feel my hackles rising just thinking about it.
So, anyway, here’s a list of things that rock and pop stars think you shouldn’t be doing:
Don’t Be Shy – The Libertines
Muuuuum, I don’t want to wear this sailor suit!
Don’t Believe The Hype – Public Enemy
Yep, I agree, the Arctic Monkeys are rubbish.
Don’t Cry – Guns ‘n’ Roses
I’m trying not to, but I stepped on a nail.
Don’t Damn Me – Guns ‘n’ Roses
What, smashing up a hotel room is alright in your book, is it?
Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Öyster Cult
But he’s my boss, and we’ve gotta get the harvest done.
Don’t Get Lost In Heaven – Gorillaz
I dunno, but I imagine Heaven’s got good signposting
Don’t Give Up – Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush
But I’ve only got a pawn and my king left..
Don’t Go Near The Water – The Beach Boys
You wouldn’t say that if you were lost in the Sahara.
Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Elton John
Elton is a vampire, nur-nur-na-nur-nur!
Don’t Marry Her (Fuck Me) – The Beautiful South
I’m flattered but, y’know, I love her.
Don’t Mug Yourself – The Streets
“Oi! Craig, gimme my wallet!” “No, Craig, it’s mine” “I’ve got a knife, I’ll stab myself” “Please don’t”
Don’t Panic – Coldplay
Yeh, but there’s a brown bear three feet in front of me.
Don’t Stand So Close To Me – The Police
It’s okay, I’m wearing a Hazmat suit.
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
Michael’s advice to anyone at a buffet.
Don’t Stop Believing – Journey
Sorry, Mum, I know it’s you who puts 20p under my pillow.
Don’t Talk (Put Your Head On My Shoulder) – The Beach Boys
…the ambulance will be here with a neckbrace soon.
Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing – Stevie Wonder
I’ll try not to.
Don’t Be A Fool, Billy – Super Furry Animals
…that Rottweiler will kill you if you keep trying to hump him.