Like a toilet cistern after a flush, my brain is empty. But I need to get my brain started again, so here goes with a some random typing – one step up from those monkeys who fail to type Shakespeare’s complete works…
I was reading in bed last night, and my bookmark slipped free when I slightly loosened the grip on the front half of the book which was housing the bookmark. It hit the mattress, and slid down between the bed abd the wall. Even though I knew my hand wouldn’t fit down there, I tried to fish it out, mainly because I hoped it had somehow lodged itself within a scissor-finger-snip’s distance. But, no. The opposite was true. Not only had it gone down all they – I found out when investigating further this morning – but had also managed to slip down the tiny gap between the floorboards and the wall. I guess it’ll stay there forever, until it decomposes; maybe being used as an ironing board by a mouse in the meantime.
There are several things in life that you can’t really say out loud to other people. ‘Nazis are great,’ I would imagine, is one of those. Another thing you’re not really allowed by polite society and popular concensus to say, is anything bad about firemen. Firemen are brill! Well, maybe; and if I’m ever rescued from my burning flat after I’ve fallen asleep with a fag in my hand, I will concur. But for now, firemen – Berlin firemen, specifically the ones in Prenzlauer Berg – are fuckers. Twice in the past few days, I’ve been waiting to cross a road (not at a junction, just in the middle of a long straight road; nowhere near a junction, in fact) and right at the moment the fire engine had got to the point where it was about to speed past me, they’ve turned on their sirens. One of those times, I even saw a fireman watching for my reaction out of the window and smiling maliciously. Bastards.
And here’s a list of Billys that my darling spaniel wasn’t named after: Billy Idol, Billy Connolly, Billy Graham, Billy Joel, Billy Bremner, Billy Bob Thornton, Billy the Kid, Billy Corgan, Billy Elliott, Billy Fury, Billy Bunter, or Billy Ocean.