There are plenty of popular people or things that I don’t like. The Arctic Monkeys for one. The League of Gentlemen for another. Top of my list, though, is Banksy. A sixth-form brain inside the body of a vandal masquerading as an artist.
If you need convincing, here’s ten reasons why Banksy is shit.
2. What, you mean Disney and McDonald’s are the bad guys? Who knew? Zzzzz…
4. Paranoid Pictures. Didn’t ravers cover this type of thing in the early nineties with those Fairy Liquid/Fairly Hip Kid and Hoover/Groover t-shirts?
5. No matter how much you try and justify it, graffiti is still vandalism. Be it a tag or a fancy stencil of a rat. I don’t care how talented you are, if you were to spray paint my car or jacket, it’d be vandalism; why exactly is doing it to a building any different?
6.This piece of his work sold for £50,400 last week. I don’t really care how much it cost, and who was stupid enough to pay that much. What I do find interesting is how anyone who thinks of themselves as an artist can do something so utterly predictable and dull. Ooh, taking someone modern and doing-a-Warhol with them. Yeh, really edgy. I can’t wait to see your art work with Pete Doherty’s face super-imposed on that Che Guevara photo.
7. Dude, get a new typeface for your crappy little tag, huh? I can’t ever remember a time when that typeface said anything other than “cheap electronic item.”
8. The whole Paris Hilton thing. Yeh, well done. You succeeded in doing the exact same thing that makes her so loathsome: shameless self-promotion. Talking of which…
9. The Guantanamo prisoner at Disneyland stunt. What’s the point? You think anyone visiting Disneyland is gonna care? You think the people who run Disneyland are gonna let it stay there? You think it’s gonna do Disneyland any harm? You think it’s gonna change the situation at Guantanamo? No, of course not. So there’s only one reason you did it: self-promotion.
10. The elephant. Aaah, I see what you did there: you took a common phrase, and actually put a REAL LIVE ELEPHANT in a room. Yeh, nice one. What next? A bunch of cooks making some really foul-tasting broth? And guess what, dickhead, it’s so fucking wrong to do that to an elephant, you should be ashamed of yourself, you contemptible cunt.
I feel better now I’ve got that off my chest.