Flip Flop Flying


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The other reason I was in London was for the NFL game at Wembley Stadium. Right here, I should say that I went to the game as someone who was neither a fan nor a hater of American football. I went with two things in mind. First, to see the new Wembley (quite nice; a bit indentikit-modern-stadium, though). Second, to find out if the sport was any good. As I’ve mentioned before, my love of baseball came from seeing a live game, so I wanted to see if this football game could help me enjoy a sport that looks quite exciting sport in the fancy ESPN highlight packages.

Well, the day was fun, despite the rain. First off there was the “Tailgate Party.” This was a bunch of stuff inside the adjacent Wembley Arena. You could catch a ball, throw a ball, kick a ball, watch a shitty band, drink beer, eat hot dogs… All quite enjoyable. Lots of British fans of virtually every NFL team (or, as my mate John and I called them, “sad lonely virgins taking a day off from their masturbation hobby”) were there, seemingly having a great time.

The bad weather made the outdoorsy bit of the party a bit of a damp squib; not much more than someone dressed as Dolphins mascot, and a big, scary, robotic player.

Stadium filling up nicely an hour before game time…

Then they brought out some British sportsmen to get us cheering. Former England rugby union player Martin Johnson, Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton, and Chelsea FC player John Terry. Johnson and Hamilton got lots of cheers. Terry was greeted by a lots of boos. I joined in. It’s just too easy to not like Chelsea players.

Some indie band – I forget their name – played on the pitch to further whip us into a wet-trousered frenzy. They were rubbish. But they were accompanied by some ladies dressed in way too few clothes considering the weather. They weren’t rubbish.

Here’s a dude praying that God likes his team more than the other team. His team lost, so God must not like him.

The game was dull. And, sadly, I just don’t get it. I don’t really see why so many folks enjoy it.

I tried to enjoy it, I really did. But I spent most of the time trying to work out where the ball was in the middle of all those dudes. Only when it suddenly got chucked to someone on the outskirts of the big fight did I notice what was going on. And, without wishing to get too tabloid on you, I enjoyed the cheerleaders a lot more than the sport. The Miami Dolphins’ Human Resources department seems to have got VERY lucky with their job applicants; cos ALL of the cheerleaders have great legs, asses, hair and tits.

Despite not really ending up an American football fan, I’m very glad I went. If for no other reason than getting to see that greatest of British traditions: the streaker.

Written by Craig

October 31st, 2007 at 2:20 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

5 Responses to 'Touchdown'

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  1. I could really get into the cheerleaders. So to speak.


    31 Oct 07 at 16:14

  2. I know what you mean. The NFL has too many rules, time-outs, and non-sport-related hoo-ha that all distract from the game.

    If you want to give American football another chance, try college football. May I recommend the LSU Fighting Tigers?


    31 Oct 07 at 17:40

  3. Never mind the dolphin, Arthur Dent turned up with his rentboy


    31 Oct 07 at 18:23

  4. Leslie: I’ll have to give college football a go sometimes.

    Mark: I had to Google “Arthur Dent”. I know I’ll make myself an Internet outcast by saying this, but I’ve never liked The Hitchhiker’s Guide.


    31 Oct 07 at 18:45

  5. I’m not a massive fan either, but something from my school days has lodged in my brain: middle aged man in dressing gown= Arthur Dent


    1 Nov 07 at 13:45

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