Flip Flop Flying

Internal monologue

with 9 comments

There’s a New Era baseball cap store in Berlin. I’ve got more than enough caps already (36), but I wasn’t wearing one on Monday, and I caught a glimpse of my shit hair in a shop window, so I walked into the New Era store, telling myself that I’d just have a quick look. But it was way too easy to convince myself that I should buy a new one. A New York Yankees 59FIFTY On-Field cap. Because, even though I’ve got four other Yankee caps, the only one I have with me (the others are either in a suitcase at my Mum’s house or in a box in Bellingham waiting to be shipped to Berlin) is the one with the commemorative 2009 Inaugural Stadium patch on the back, and I quite fancied a regular one.

Anyway, I motion to the wall of 59FIFTY On-Field caps, and ask the guy for a Yankee cap, size seiben und… and my mind couldn’t find how to say “five-eighths” in German (yes, I know: big head). He prompted me, “In English?” I told him my size. He opened the magic wall, and inside were shelves of different sized caps. And then he said, “You want it in this colour?” in a way that inferred that I could get something way more exciting than the blue-with-white-logo cap.

“Of course,” I said. As he walked back to the counter, a monologue continued in my head. Of course I want the On-Field cap; do I really look like the sort of person who would want to propagate this absurd fashion cap trend with red Yankee caps, multi-coloured Yankee caps, and, God help us all, camo Yankee caps. Of course I want the dark blue cap, you fool; this is a New York Yankees baseball cap, something to be proud of, not just a piece of tat to plop on my head to complete a “look.” And while I’m here, that two-tone grey Giants cap you’re wearing is wrong. It should be black with an orange logo. And you can take the sticker off the bill, you juvenile doofus.

“Can I pay with Visa?”

Written by Craig

September 3rd, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

9 Responses to 'Internal monologue'

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  1. damn i want one too.
    but a nearly 800km trip to berlin is a little to much.

    but you're right about the color. those clown hats are are a royal pain in the ass.

    Anonymous

    3 Sep 09 at 2:07 pm

  2. …you wouldn't have shit-hair, if you'd just let it grow. You have lovely hair.

    ~Barbara~

    3 Sep 09 at 3:58 pm

  3. i'm not sure where you stand on your iphone app developing, but it would be cool to have a cap app… like your ballcap watch.. maybe?

    yuko

    3 Sep 09 at 5:27 pm

  4. I've been meaning to ask.

    Just how much money do you HAVE?
    Hopping from country to country, buying hats on a whim….

    Rob Ess

    3 Sep 09 at 11:38 pm

  5. Thanks, Kraig.

    Yuko: not even considering going near an iPhone app development idea until those cunts sort their fucking approval shitting process out. Yes, I'm still angry.

    Rob: mind your own fucking business.

    Craig

    4 Sep 09 at 7:47 am

  6. now that last one was a really rude comment on an obviously ironic one….

    Anonymous

    4 Sep 09 at 9:35 am

  7. Sorry. No need to offend…

    Rob Ess

    4 Sep 09 at 10:33 pm

  8. The multicolored Yankee cap… making me woozy… the colors, man, the colors…

  9. Anon: it wasn't "ironic." It may have been light-hearted, but it wasn't ironic. Look at the word in a dictionary. Learn what it means before you use it.

    How's that for rude?

    Craig

    5 Sep 09 at 9:49 am

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