Home > Twitter search poems (writing, 2010-15)

A veritable smorgasbord

a veritable smorgasbord of upcoming auctions
A veritable smorgasbord of Black Friday discounts

A veritable smorgasbord of amazing cinema
a veritable smorgasbord of #BradleyCooper news

A veritable smorgasbord of delicious tea!
a veritable smorgasbord of superb milks

a veritable smorgasbord of disaster movie cliches
a veritable smorgasbord of racing-themed rides

a veritable smorgasbord of regional talent
a veritable smorgasbord of WTF

A veritable smorgasbord of sexual expression
A veritable smorgasbord of tear gas

a veritable smorgasbord of grossness
A veritable smorgasbord of quality

a veritable smorgasbord of the worst of modern life
a veritable smorgasbord of crap mugs

a veritable smorgasbord of sweet and savoury delights!!
A veritable smorgasbord of French cheeses

a veritable smorgasbord of holiday party possibilities
A veritable smorgasbord of funny ladies!

A veritable smorgasbord of tips & advice
a veritable smorgasbord of old-timey fun

A veritable smorgasbord of strategies
A veritable smorgasbord of content

a veritable smorgasbord of questions
A veritable smorgasbord of suggestions

A veritable smorgasbord if u will.

8 June 2015


If Romney wins I'm moving to Canada
If Romney wins, I'm moving to Mexico.
If Obama wins, I'm moving to Canada.
if obama wins I'm moving to mexico

3 November 2012

Chris Brown is

Chris Brown is so sexyy
Chris brown is fucking sexy.
Chris Brown is so damn sexy!
Chris brown is tooo damn sexy ...

Chris brown is sooo hot
Chris Brown is so fuckin hot
Chris Brown is Soo Hot<3
Chris Brown is pretty hot.

chris brown is so fineeeeee!
Chris Brown is fiiiinnneeeee as hell
Chris Brown is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodamn fine :)
Chris Brown Is Some Fine Caramel!!

Chris Brown is in the building
Chris brown is in the building
Chris Brown is on the building!
chris brown is in the boulding.

Chris Brown is the king of Pop.
Chris Brown is the prince of RnB!!
Chris Brown is a really good dancer
Chris Brown is like jesus to me.

chris brown is a singer
Chris brown is perfecto! <3
Chris Brown is oh so soothing
Chris Brown is a modern day Sisqo

Chris Brown is my idol.
Chris Brown is my role model
Chris brown is really an inspiration.
Chris Brown is the master of my soul!

Chris Brown is a worthless fucking scumbag

8 May 2012

Pigging out

pigging out on Moroccan food
Pigging out on Cambodian
pigging out on Mexican
pigging out on Indian!!

pigging out on a burrito
Pigging out on pizza
Pigging out on noodles
pigging out on fajitas

pigging out on brownies
Pigging out on Chinese
Pigging out on strawberrys
Pigging out on some Portuguese cheese

pigging out on Wendy's
Pigging out on burger King
Pigging out on Mcdonalds
pigging out on buffalo wings

pigging out on porfiteroles
pigging out on cupcakes
pigging out on oreos
Pigging out on chocolate and milkshake

pigging out on spagetti on toast!
pigging out on subway
pigging out on Mac and Cheese
pigging out at a buffet

Pigging out on mangoes!
Pigging out on fruit
pigging out on cereal
pigging out on froot loops

Pigging out on leftovers
Pigging out on sushi
pigging out on a huge cheese plate
pigging out on KFC!

pigging out on curry
pigging out on pizza hut
pigging out on bacon
pigging out on donuts

pigging out on nacho's!
pigging out on apple pie
pigging out on cheesy puffs
pigging out on french fries

Pigging out on pickled onions.
pigging out on soda
pigging out on dim sum
pigging out on the sofa.

7 May 2012

You know what's awesome?

You know what's awesome? Cheese.
You know what's awesome? Leaving work early.
You know what's awesome? Being a virgin.
You know what's awesome? Elbow sweat.

you know what's awesome? jello shots.
You know what's awesome? Magical unicorns.
You know what's awesome? Earth Wind & Fire.
You know what's not awesome? A papercut on your knuckle.

You know what's awesome? My mom
You know what's awesome? My new phone
You know what's awesome? My spider-man blanket
You know what's awesome? Nothing.

you know what's awesome? Mustaches.
you know what's awesome? DINNER.
You know what's awesome? Lightsabers.
You know what's awesome? Kicking dudes.

you know what's awesome? life
you know what's awesome? kitties.
You know what's awesome? Nothing.
you know what's awesome? Me!

7 May 2012

Hey guys

hey guys
hey guys
hey guys
hey guys

Hey guys
Hey guys
Hey guys
Hey guys

Hey guys.
hey guys.
Hey guys.
hey guys.

Hey guys!
Hey Guys!!
hey guys :)
Hey guys!! :)

Hey guys :B
Hey guys! :D
Hey guys!xx
hey guys lol

Hey guys how are ya
Hey Guys How Are you???
Hey guys! How all doing?
Hey guys, what's up?

Hey Guys! Please go follow my new twitter!
Hey guys, i know I'm being desperate, but can of of the people I follow, follow me back it's just I need followers. Thank you!
Hey guys m new on twitter..pls follow.
Hey guys!I hope you twitter with me:} and sorry I canęt not good english ]:{------→

Hey guys!Welcome to my Twitter!
Hey guys wanna be friends??
Hey guys, thanks for the follow.
Hey guys pls follow me back

Hey guys do you like this?
Hey guys, like my shoes?
Hey guys like my tattoo?
Hey guys, this look suspicious to you?

Hey guys what do you think about my new profile picture?
Hey guys what happened with Toby?
Hey guys! Who's excited for icarly and SNL tomorrow !?:)
hey guys, do you ever come back in Italy? :)

hey guys bring kleenex
Hey guys look!.... i brought bread.
hey guys this is soooo intresting!
HEY GUYS! I'm bored right now :(

hey guys have a great day.
Hey guys, I hope you are having a great night.
Hey guys - no big plans for the my weekend.

Hey guys check out my latest article
Hey guys check this out!
Hey you guys can't miss out on this!!
Hey guys I wrote you a haiku

hey guys sorry!
Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been on.
Hey guys, sorry i didn't tweet last days..
Hey guys sorry for all the issues today

Hey guys it's April 6, 2012.
Hey guys, it's April 06, 2012 at 04:30PM. Better grab yer dicks.

6 April 2012

It's like X on steroids

It's like a ballerina dress on steroids
It's Like Chinese Food On Steroids

it's like iPhoto on steroids
It's kinda like Powerade on steroids

It's like texting on steroids?
It's like Chuck-E-Cheese on steroids

It's like a bucket list on steroids
it's like Michigan weather on steroids!!

It's like jogging on steroids
it's like a chocolate croissant on steroids

It's like techno on steroids
it's like Tumblr on steroids

It's like a college campus on steroids
it's like period cramps on steroids

It's like love on steroids
it's like Glee on steroids

it's like social networking on steroids
It's like butterflies on steroids

It's like a convenience store on steroids!
it's like Kenny G on steroids

It's like work out music on steroids
it's like halo on steroids

It's Law and Order on steroids
it's like stupid on steroids

It's like the devil wears prada on steroids
it's like a garbage disposal on steroids

it's like Stevie Nicks on steroids
It's like Dr Pepper on steroids

It's like Photoshop on steroids
It's like chocolate milk on steroids

It's like chicken soup on steroids
It's like PANTERA on steroids

it's like Animal Planet on steroids
It's like waffle house on steroids

it's like aerobics on steroids
It's like jaws on steroids

it's like iMovie on steroids
it's like a long island iced tea on steroids

it's like PowerPoint on steroids
It's like Christmas eve on steroids

It's like New York City on steroids
It's like snow cones on steroids

it's like Ziggy Stardust on steroids
it's like 'Dawn of the Dead' on steroids

It's like honesty on steroids
It's like Tai Chi on steroids!

it's like Fox News on steroids
it's like marijuana on steroids

It's like infomercials on steroids!!!
it's like a honey butter chicken biscuit on steroids

It's like twitter on steroids
It's like a paper cut on steroids

It's like Excel on steroids
it's like s'mores on steroids

It's like Nyquil on steroids
it's like bud light on steroids

16 February 2012

It's like X on acid

It's like James Joyce on acid
It's like Mario on acid
it's like Nigella on acid
It's like vampires on acid
it's like Walmart on acid

it's like the Grammys on acid
It's like reggae on acid
it's like Mel B on Acid
it's like a mix of M.I.A. and Lana Del Rey on acid
it's seriously like awful elevator music on acid

It's like Glee on acid
it's like Stargate on acid
it's like Art Attack on acid
It's like Grey's Anatomy on acid
It's like The Antiques Roadshow on acid

It's like Disney on acid
It's like the Disney Channel on acid
It's like Mickey Mouse on acid
it's kind of like the The Powerpuff Girls on acid
it's like being a toddler on acid

It's like Citra on acid
It's like Mother Nature on acid
It's like Vegas on Acid
it's like Robin Hood on Acid
it's like work but on acid!!!!

16 February 2012

Pizza Hut



Hope you enjoy!
hope you enjoy your pizza!
hope you all enjoyed your meal!
we at Pizza Hut are looking foward to you enjoying your meal.

we appreciate the feedback!
we appreciate the feedback!
we appreciate the feedback!
we apologize for the way your food arrived.

we apologize for the inconvenience.
we apologize for the inconvenience.
we apologize for the inconvenience.
great! hope you enjoyed!

we apologize for the inconvenience.
we apologize for the inconvenience.
we apologize for the inconvenience.
glad it was up to par!

this is unacceptable!
this is unacceptable!
this is unacceptable!
let me tell you...it is yummy!!!

27 January 2012

Sucks ass

this sucks ass
Paying bills sucks ass
Cleaning sucks ass
Regretting sucks ass.

Chris sucks ass.
lena sucks ass.
FDR sucks ass
My dad sucks ass!
richard's mother SUCKS ASS

my agent sucks ass
my doctor sucks ass
our waitress sucks ass.
My instructor sucks ass!
Kirk Hammett sucks ass!

my job sucks ass
Work sucks ass!
All work & no play SUCKS ASS
Working with the bosses son sucks ass
Unemployment sucks ass.

Verizon sucks ass
verizon sucks ass
At&t sucks ass
Tmobile Sucks Ass
Tmobile hold music sucks ass

Sprint sucks ass
Sprint sucks ASS
sprint still sucks ass.
damn sprint sucks ass

This camera on my mac sucks ASS!!!!
My iTunes sucks ass.
iTunes sucks so much ass.
iTunes sucks baboon ass
Apple sucks major ass.

This summer sucks ass
rain sucks ass
Humidity sucks ass.
weather sucks ASS!
weather.com sucks ass

This pitcher sucks ass
These refs sucks ass!
LeBron James sucks ass
NBA sucks ass
your kids team sucks ass!

Car shopping sucks ass!
Traffic sucks ass
this drive sucks ass
driving in a car without air conditioning when it's 41degrees outside fuckin' sucks ASS!!!!
Sitting in my car crying sucks ass

Training at the gym without my Mp3 Player sucks ass.
My singing voice sucks ass.
My dental insurance sucks ass.
muscular dystrophy sucks major ass.
Fronto-temporal Dementia sucks ass.

Warm liquor sucks ass.
Subway's breakfast sucks ass.
miso soup from whole foods sucks ass
this salad sucks ass... i should have gotten the sandwich

17 May 2011

I'm sick to death of

I'm sick to death of seeing all the same faces.
I'm sick to death of bitchy girls and sly people.
I'm sick to death of the words "Social media".
I'm sick to death of these arguments that have occurred since I was 7 years old.

I'm sick to death of psycho individuals
im sick to death of men.
I'm sick to death of their half-arsed relationship!
I'm sick to death of love...

I'm sick to death of jargon & techno-babble.
I'm sick to death of pretending to enjoy my job.
I'm sick to death of feeling like I'm not good enough.
i'm sick to death of walking into door handles.

I'm sick to death of not being able to forget and move on
I'm sick to death of all the vitriol spewed on both sides.
i'm sick to death of everything all ready,god it's tedious!!!!
I'm sick to death of hearing everyones shit for the day already.

i'm sick to death of family drama.
I'm sick to death of arguing.
i'm sick to death of bloody role plays.
I'm sick to death of being responsible adult & having nothing to show for it.

I'm sick to death of people who take advantage of other people.
I'm so sick to death of the absolute BORING bullshit that has been my last two & a half weeks.
i'm sick to death of worrying
I'm just sick to death of it!

5 May 2011

Fuck you

fuck you guys!!!
Fuck YouTube
Fuck you, body.
fuck you too

fuck you apple
Fuck you doubters.
fuck you life

fuck you minnesota.
fuck you brazil

Fuck you, Pablo.
Fuck you TOM!!!
Fuck you dad.
Fuck you Mom

Fuck you myspace!
Fuck you, Google.
Fuck you Hitler...

Fuck you Pelosi
Fuck you Palin
fuck you Flyers
Fuck you Penguins

Fuck you winter.
Fuck you Whitney.
fuck you jetlag
Fuck you, family.

fuck you downward dog position.
Fuck You Easter Bunny..
fuck you, H & R block!
Fuck you honey!

Fuck You Twitter
Fuck you Bieber.
fuck you russia.
fuck you argentina

Fuck you human resources
Fuck you crips!
fuck you asshole.
fuck you bitch!

Fuck you, Fred.
Fuck you pussy
fuck you, Microsoft
Fuck you, Kentucky

Fuck you baby
fuck you bro
fuck you haters.
fuck you ho!

27 February 2010


mmmmmm wings :)
MMMmmm Could this Caramel Machiatto BE any sweeter??
MMmmmm...chilli cheese fries...I felt SO fat after lol
Mmmmmm doritos and lemon<3 aweee yeah
Mmmmmm, tasty tasty freckles.

mmmmmm pepsi
mmmmmm smoked haddock!! yummmy!! :D
Mmmmmm cin/apple panie cakes
mmmmmm my fav
Mmmmmm Thai green chicken curry on it's way :o)

Mmmmmm tht was 1 nice sandwich.
Mmmmmm. Miso black cod!!
mmmmmm these fried plantains are so gooood
Mmmmmm. Fanta fruit twist :) it's going down a treat!
mmmmmm curry

mmmmmm!!!!! SEX!
Mmmmmm breakfast time!
Mmmmmm taco bell:D!
mmmmmm wafffles!
mmmmmm that sounds crazy delicious

Mmmmmm need to c u
mmmmmm ice-creamm <3 x
Mmmmmm.... Now a benadryl and a nap.
Mmmmmm :) spicy chiken patties n fries babyyy!

mmmmmm sooo goooooodddd! Ham, Cheese, and Egg sandwich!!! with fries
Mmmmmm. Coney dog and a milkshake
Mmmmmm Wendy's baked potato with sour cream and chives and bacon cheeseburger. :)
Mmmmmm vamonos a Six Flags jajajajaja :P
Mmmmmm pizza

Mmmmmm tea.. Lol
Mmmmmm pie.....
mmmmmm wok stirred eggplant. YUMMMYYYYYY
Mmmmmm, those Caramel Cupcakes are going fast
mmmmmm I'm so hungry

Mmmmmm. Mcdonalds
mmmmmm naps !!!
Mmmmmm ihop
Mmmmmm Thai green curry
Mmmmmm. Coffee.... Must get coffee...

Mmmmmm there guac and margaritas are poppin
mmmmmm, candy!! :)
mmmmmm soft juicy plums lol

27 February 2010


OMG i have your new cd!i love it, your voice so sexy!
Omg I tweeted over 600 times in the past 2 1/2 days
omg ....hahahah hahaha ha ha ha ... no. Its from guitar fool :P
omg... let's go just let me borrow $35 until tomorrow... :)

OMG! I totally forgot that my tunic is see-through! And I wore it today with nothing else.. I hope no one noticed?!
omg. my family are the only people to make me cry
omg. oooo stop texting me!
Omg I wanna go hang out with aileen.
OMG he is even adorable sleepin my goodness! Aloha and have a wonderful wensday!!!

OMG i was reading a magazine!!!
OMG what I wouldn't give for a nap right now!!!
Omg my mom just handed in my resume at her work.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG heart mended.
Omg I messed up!!

Omg..imma go crazy!
omg, he's looking at me :o i could die right there... and his eyes are SO pretty!
OMG!!r u serious??
omg! your background is amazing!!!

Omg u are making me so happy rite now :)
OMG ! i can't believe u sent a direct message TO ME ! i'm crying ! i love SO SO SO MUCH !
OMG how rude :|
OMG Why are you fucking with me? #Getoverit LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE #killyoself #losemynumber

omg, super freaking awesome, i'm cereal!
omg how many newspapers are in NY!
Omg I cannot stop =S
Omg. That article made me feel soo proud of Green Day!! :'D
your 17 really omg cant belive that haha are u really ? haha x

OMG!!!!! MY EARS!!!!! I think I'm bleeding!!!
OMG, we woulda missed it!
omg omg omg lmao gone color purple
omg she's beautiful.... How adorable is she
OMG best ride home ever with Hubbies mom. Epic.

omg wish I could.
OMG!!!how crazy,im 11 weeks pregnant!?!?
omg i luv this song
Omg I have got to get on this pile of laundry!
Omg! It is so Wine o' Clock!

Omg plz take those 20's off that neon
omg I'm going to go crazzzy
Omg! Henry didn't even touch him! Fuck you reff

Omg it was huge!
OMG now I go outside and scream
omg fuuuu that looks amazin
Omg, people can be a pain in the ass sometimes!

OMG! I cleared my email inbox
Omg i heart sushi..
OMG, cute dog swinging on a swingset!
Omg i always feel so bad when i dont know someones name and they know mine.
Omg pt cruiser or dodge caliber???

24 February 2010

Damn girl

Damn girl you are so sweet and humble!
Damn girl scout cookies can't stop eaying ya...nom nom nom
Damn girl stop throwing yourself @ this dude.
Damn girl u luv u sum burgerz huh? Lol

damn girl...2 hours? Smh yall females
Damn girl busted again
Damn girl, your taking forever to come back
damn girl i hope everything works out

damn girl! Ahaha i could easily say the same.
damn girl we use to be friends
Damn girl !! You know we gone get to it tooooooniiiiight toooooonight tooooniiight tooooniiiight!
damn girl get a job there

damn girl, you hurt my side when you said that...
damn girl u must b bored lol
Damn girl! Lol
damn girl, yu gained weight!!

damn girl you dont need this shit.
damn girl tv, couches wat else.
damn girl hand it over til i check out all the hotness :P
damn girl hahaha

damn girl i respect everything ur doing
damn girl where u stay at??
damn girl damn yous a sexy chiiick

Damn girl, why aren't we facebook friends?
Damn Girl! You's A Sexy Chick!
damn girl you got ass like that I know I gotta follow you lol
Damn girl u broke.

Damn girl! I need to learn from you..except I have no booty so there goes that.
Damn girl, growl like a bear
Damn Girl, Is You Ever Gonna #ShutTheHellUp ?
Damn girl!!! I wanna b wit u 4eva!!

13 February 2010

Battery's dying

My battery's dying, for those interested
fuck, the battery's dying
Shitt, my battery's dying :(

Ahhhh! My battery's dying!
Ahhhh! Phone battery's dying!
Uh-oh battery's dying. =(

Frack! My battery's dying!
Damn my battery's dying
battery's dying :'(

gahn battery's dying
ok, battery's dying, gotta go..
aww battery's dying :| goodnightt :)

welp battery's dying
Battery's dying...fug.
My battery's dying. . . Crap. :(

My battery's dying fml
Lol, my phone battery's dying.
Stupid battery's dying

UGH... MY BATTERY'S DYING. . N0000000000000000000!
Battery's dying!!!! Omg!!

Gutted! Battery's dying
Urgh, my battery's dying -.-
battery's dying..no

4 February 2010